Articles by Erik Mellgren
Nebraska Fans Excited To Begin Heisman Campaign For Jermarcus Hardrick (09-07-2010)Texas Housewives Forced To Do Own Housework After Slaughter Of 72 Meixcan Immigrants (09-07-2010)
Obama Grants Gays And Lesbians Access To Watch Loved Ones Die (04-27-2010)
Obama Throws Ceremonial First Pitch For Nationals Opening Day, Subsequent 97 Pitches (04-13-2010)
Pelini Announces New Defensive Sets: Peso, Euro, And Jamaican Dollar (04-13-2010)
Dontrayeveous Rex: Buddy Backs (04-13-2010)
NCAA Investigates Alex Henery For Steroid Abuse (04-13-2010)
Can The Defense Recover From Losses In The Trenches? (04-13-2010)
Breaking Down The Quarterback Controversy (04-13-2010)
Spring Game 2010 Preview (04-13-2010)
Top-seeded Husker Women’s Basketball Team Does Something-or-other, BUT ONLY 18 DAYS UNTIL THE SPRING GAME!! (03-30-2010)
Tea Party Activists Intentionally Contract Deadly Diseases In Attempt To “Bankrupt Obamacare” (03-30-2010)
Texas Board Of Education Votes To Place Jesus Among Founding Fathers In New Textbooks (03-30-2010)
Cheney Survives Fifth Heart Attack By Selling Last Shred Of Soul To Satan (03-09-2010)
UPC Announces Black Eyed Peas To Play Pershing Center Last Week (03-09-2010)
Student’s Class Schedule Regrettably Not In Sync With Roommate’s Masturbation Schedule (03-09-2010)
Husker Baseball Excited To Meet Expectations Set By Husker Men’s Basketball Team (03-09-2010)
Olympic Committee Institutes “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy In Doubles Luge (02-23-2010)
Student On Study Abroad Relieved He Has Yet To Associate With Any Foreigners (02-23-2010)
Silent Standoff Lasts 15 Minutes Before Professor Begrudgingly Answers Own Question (02-23-2010)
ESPN Reports: Saints Super Bowl Victory Fixes All Of New Orleans' Problems (02-09-2010)
America Sees Earthquake In Haiti As Wakeup Call, Thankful No One Was Hurt (01-26-2010)
City Of Lincoln Renews Contract With The Sun For Snow Removal Services (01-26-2010)
Citing Budget Woes, University Encourages Students To Only Use Meal Plans As 'Last Resort' (11-17-2009)
Doc Sadler Follows Up Mass Phone Call By Visiting Every Dorm Room On Campus In Hopes Of Selling Basketball Tickets (11-17-2009)
Release Of DJ Hero Praised By Parents Hoping To Keep Their Embarrassingly Douchie Kids Away From Public (11-17-2009)
Student Successfully Passes Off 'Family Guy' Joke As Own (11-03-2009)
Royals Fan Unaware MLB Held Playoffs At End Of Every Season (11-03-2009)