Winter, A Concern

Story by Larry Goodwell 

| Published Jan 18, 2011

It is the dead of winter and all of us are feeling the chill. Luckily, Nebraska has not had as much snow as it has in the past. That being true, I have been hearing a lot of bull shit comments like, “this isn’t winter,” or “up in Montana we get three times this much snow.” Though that maybe true, fuck off. I do not care. It is winter and it’s cold as hell for some, and I can not find my left glove. With the winter also comes new troubles and more things to boggle your mind.

First, any hint of ice or snow sends Lincoln drivers into a panic. Even though most drivers in this town are Nebraskans and are no strangers to a little bit of weather, for some reason snow takes an already slow Lincoln driver and makes it so they might as well be riding a Hover Round. It really does not help that the general populace of this town goes a good five to 10 bellow the speed limit and cannot tell a stop sign from just another pretty shape. My advice is go back to drivers ed or just stay in all winter.

Now ladies, I know you have to look your best. Just remember that, in winter, your best is completely nonsensical. You can claim all you want that leggings are so comfortable and still a little warm, but I do not believe you. When I walk into my math class and hear, “OMG, it is so cold out, my legs are, like, freezing,” I just want to yell in your face. I would not really yell at you, because that is rude. But your mothers would, and I would be there backing them up. I know it is cold out -- that is why I wear jeans, sweater, heavy coat and occasionally long johns. I don’t know much about what goes on in a girl’s head, but if you are trying to wear leggings to try and be cute for boys, stop it now. We like it, do not worry; just not in the middle of a thirteen degree day. That just says to us you are trying a little too hard, or you just are not smart.

What it comes down to is that winter is a season I would rather do with out, and I am not saying that because of some seasonal depression. SAD is not even a thing. It’s called winter, and it will be over soon, and it happens every year. Get over it. But I am not going to lie. When I wake up and see a fresh layer of snow I can’t help but get excited. A nice layer of powder is much better to look at than a field of brown grass.