The Rice And Wrongs - Sometimes A Dumb, Snobby-Ass Freshman Needs To Be Put In Her Place

Story by Dan Nguyen 

| Published Nov 3, 2009

The past few months I’ve found myself suffering from the trauma of being a college insomniac. I routinely discover myself spending countless hours lying in my bed staring up at my ceiling pondering the ideals of absolutely nothing. With no dreams to live for I Consequently zombie-walk through my living hours to ultimately return to my relentless bed for another sleepless night.

I no longer uphold the merits of being a model minority, nor do I behave well mannered or apologetic. I am downright nasty. I hate everybody. And I am one spoiled obnoxious bitch away from freaking out.

Sitting in my intro-biology class as a practiced-senior, I can confidently say that I am not a genius, but I know one or two things about college that my classmates may not. I’ve been through the shit and back: Organic, Physics, Anatomy, and Physiology are enough credentials to feel adequately comfortable in an intro bio class.

What is one gem of knowledge I have? Respect teachers, especially the ones that know the material like the back of their hand, have taught the class for 10+ years, and aside from the reiterating the same class material for years still have enthusiasm to “try” to keep students interested.

Yet, there I am sitting next to the one spoiled over-achieving brat that can’t get over the fact that she missed half a point on her routine Friday pre-class quiz. She spends the rest of the class audibly grumbling and refuting every lecture point the professor has to make.

“God, he is so dumb--Nope, he’s wrong—Didn’t he go over this already—I can’t believe we pay this guy to teach”

With every snide remark she makes my sleep deprived body becomes increasingly tense and disorientated until finally I snap. I look over at her, and in a well refined connotation I say, “Why, are you such a snobby bitch?”

As she stared at me in complete disbelief it finally hit me. The reason since the initiation of my senior year I have had little to no sleep: I’m old as fuck-- and everyone younger than me is a dumb ass.

At this point in my life, I can’t help but feel that everyone below my age demographic feels entitled to something they have yet to deserve. This overzealous prima donna Hermione Granger honestly thought that she had the compensating knowledge to talk smack to a 60 year old biology teacher who has dedicated his life resources to the study of living organisms.

Only a girl who truly disrespects someone could attempt to shamefully disprove a lifetime of learning in front of an entire class. And even though she was put in her place and proven wrong by our professor, she spent the rest of class feeling miserable and victimized.

Truly, the thing that worries me isn’t that I’m old and she’s dumb and young. It’s not that I’m a senior who feels surrounded by youthful idiots. Rather, the anxiety keeping me up at night is the fact that through 4 years of college I still feel entitled to nothing. It’s that if some bratty freshman girl questioned my legitimacy in front of an entire class I still don’t feel I have the amount of advantageous knowledge to put her on her underclassman ass.

Fortunately for me I have at least 4 more years of dental school to acquire my entitled role in the real world. Years I will likely be reminded everyday how unqualified and undeserving I am of my opportunity and privilege. Thankfully all I need to get by is a pen, paper, and a satirical paper to write a column about how dumb everyone else is, and I’ll do just fine.