The Rice And Wrongs - Some People Are Born To Lead While Others Born To Ruin Peoples’ Days

Story by Dan Nguyen 

| Published Nov 17, 2009

Some people are born to be leaders; they take initiative and accountability not only for themselves but for the people they govern.

Some people are born to solve the world’s problems; they glare into a microscope and resolve the pains of humanity.

Some people are born nurturers; they miraculously ease the woes of everyone they touch and hold.

I am none of these. In fact, I very well may be the farthest thing from any of these people.

It’s not that I try to avoid characteristics of an outstanding model citizen, it’s that I unintentionally do things that categorize me as uncaring and inconsiderate. And as much as I don’t mean the terrible things I do I can’t help but think of the detriment I unintentionally cause to society.

What’s it take to be like Dan Nguyen, a moronically unintentional selfish goof? Phlegm. One must possess an insurmountable bodily collection of snot and saliva.

Anyone who personally knows me knows that my year round allergic reaction to everything on this planet gets the best of me, and because of this it is not a rare scene to see me react to my inefficient immune system.

This includes, but is not limited to: runny nose, snot rockets, hocking loogies, droopy bloodshot eyes, and last but not least, sneezing-or to many past observers- a “sneeze-splosion”.

Even though it may not be my fault for my allergies, it is my own reaction to my allergies that makes me selfish and inconsiderate.

My life is so consumed with “declogging” my own sinuses that I often forget the harm my actions may cause to others. And that is selfish.

Someone may be enjoying a nice coffee outside the Union, but when I walk by and hock into the fountain they may find displeasure in their cup of joe, especially in the likeness of the thick cream wafting around the top of their cup.

This past week I decided to try to go a whole day without ruining someone’s cup of coffee, snack, or meal. But, as I was walking to class early that morning I coughed up the most grotesque pint of loogie known to my existence.

There was no possible way I was going to bite the bullet and swallow this one, and like the selfish bastard I am, I turned to my left and spat out the disgusting slimy concoction my body had made- right onto the hand of a speeding bicyclist who at that very moment decided to pass me.

As he sped off into the distance, snapping his hand down repeatedly, shaking the thick glob of spit I just delivered to him, a part of me died inside.

I know now who I am and for that I am sorry world. I’m no leader, problem solver, or nurturer. I’m not even a swallower-I’m a spitter.