Student’s Class Schedule Regrettably Not In Sync With Roommate’s Masturbation Schedule

Story by Erik Mellgren 

| Published Mar 9, 2010

University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Joe Brandt has finally adjusted to the routine of his class schedule this semester. Unfortunately for the Neihardt resident, his routine still needs some tweaking.

“I get out of class Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10:20 a.m., so I head back to my room for a bit before it's time to grab some lunch,” said Brandt. “My roommate wakes up around this time, and every Tuesday and Thursday for the last three weeks now, I have walked in on him beating it.”

Neihardt Residence Director Melissa Peters says this type of conflict is common in the dorms. “Kids have never lived with someone before, and they need to realize they are not used to coordinating schedules for certain things, but it is a matter for the residents to resolve.”

“Luckily the semester is more than halfway over,” sighed a resigned Brant. “I guess I will just have to get used to eating lunch early or start walking back from class slower.”