Sesame Street Introduces New Anti-Semitic Character

Story by Jacob Fricke 

| Published Nov 8, 2011

Following the trend of introducing new characters to fit modern trends, the creators of Sesame Street have added a character with anti-Jewish sentiments to the show.

Current show-runner Susan Simmons explained the changes to massed journalists, fans, and the Anti-Defamation league. Stating, “this is just how it’s going to be,” she spoke at length about why this decision was made.

“We introduced a HIV-positive character to the show, to general acclaim, back in 2002,” she said. “And more and more musical guests are coming on the show to sing about tolerance and acceptance of all people. Sesame Street has always sought to adapt to the times.”

As such, new characters are being added. The first, new puppet Israel Goldski, will be introduced to the show in the beginning of November.

“Israel is a fun-loving six year-old boy who loves to play,” said Simmons. “He aspires to be an accountant, is extraordinarily polite to adults, and never misses an opportunity to earn a few dollars. His mother, Shiela, has a heart of gold and is always involved in her son’s life, making sure he does all the things he is supposed to do. Many times over, in fact.”

Israel, who is set to be a skinny, pure white puppet with a large nose and kippa, will be brought into town because Bert and Ernie are being harassed by Israel’s father, who is attempting to foreclose on their home.

“We are also excited to introduce another new character, who will provide a direct counterpart to Israel,” said Simmons. “Sally Wagner is a six year-old girl who loves school, jumping rope, and exposing the oppressive Zionist regime that runs all of our banks and governments.”

Sally is the daughter of two former UC-Berkley professors who have moved to join the “Occupy Sesame Street” movement. The current plan is for Sally to frequently be alone, as her parents have taken new jobs as community organizers and have little time for raising their daughter.

“Her parents being occupied, Sally decides that the only thing to do is to spend time with Israel,” said Simmons. “And, because of the way she was raised, she decides that the only logical thing to do is to act negatively toward him. We have episodes planned where she steals his money, where she mocks him publicly for wearing his ‘stupid hat thing,’ and many more.”

According to Simmons, the introduction of these new characters are intended to reflect
America’s growing reluctance to accept Jewish culture.

“It is considered common knowledge now that the Jews caused the financial collapse, and were aware of 9/11 before it happened,” said Simmons. “As purveyors of media, it’s our job to hold a mirror up to American perspectives.”

Though the new episodes are expected to cause some controversy, no one affiliated with the show anticipates them causing as much trouble as last year’s now infamous “Cookie Monster Intervention” episode.