Serial Killer Would Kill To Watch Another Human Life Fade Away Before His Eyes

Story by Ben Plowman 

| Published Dec 15, 2009

Longtime serial killer and passionate observer of final moments Rob Rosiak announced to nobody in particular yesterday that, "I just miss it. I miss the way the focus goes out of their eyes until they're looking straight through you." Rosiak made the announcement at a nearly empty bar shortly before closing time, sources close to the matter are reporting.

"Oh, yeah, I bet those were the good old days," replied bartender Lonnie Hemming, not paying any attention to what Rosiak was saying.

"And you know what? There's nothing I wouldn't give to hold my hand against the face of another drifter whose life I had just taken and know that the heat from his body would never again return," Rosiak said.

After a lengthy career of nearly 20 homicides, only 14 of which were discovered, the 57-year-old Rosiak found he no longer had the muscles or agility to wrestle strangers to the ground, render them unconscious and then transport them to isolated areas to murder them and listen to their final, labored breaths. Like many Americans who've recently lost their jobs, Rosiak wants nothing more than to return to the job that once sustained him — not merely for the money he would steal from their bodies — but just to feel like he had a purpose again.

"Back in the day, I could take down a 250-pound man in about 45 seconds, now I couldn't even tie my shoes in that amount of time," Rosiak said, laughing as he took a drink.

"I don't mean to sound dramatic, but there is literally nothing I wouldn't do to watch the fragility of human life play itself out in my arms. Heck, I'd even kill a man to get my old serial killin' job back," Rosiak said.