Rookie Jehovah's Witness Achieves Fabled 'Triple-Double' In Converts

Story by Jacob Fricke 

| Published Jan 26, 2010

The elders said it couldn’t happen. At first, his section leader didn’t believe it. However, it was true: Martin MacMillan had done it. He’d gotten the triple double, and on his first try.

MacMillan, 24, has been a member of the Jehovah’s Witness faith all his life. However, it was only recently that he began to feel the need to serve the Lord in a new way: by going door to door in an attempt to convert people.

“I had always viewed everyone not in the faith as doomed regardless,” MacMillan said, while attempting to hand this reporter a pamphlet, “but in December I was struck. On the 25th, a day when most people are celebrating their perverted pagan holiday, I decided to dedicate my life to going door to door.”

What followed was a month of rigorous training. MacMillan was taught how to carry thousands of pamphlets at a time, be disturbingly polite about messages of Armageddon, and solicit donations. He passed with flying colors, and was ready.

Jacob Ahlmann was appointed to be his section leader, presiding over MacMillan and 3 other men. They were to begin their day in the small suburb of Sussex, Wisconsin. Ahlmann had been there before, and didn’t have high hopes for the day... until he saw MacMillan.

“They tend to be Catholics, or Lutherans, these people, and therefore beyond saving. Even though I told MacMillan this, he wasn’t deterred. He had a spark in his eye. I knew that kid was something special.”

MacMillan, dressed in a crisp white shirt and tie, began the day at the home of Kathy Smith, mother of two. After only a five minute conversation, Miss Smith had already purchased several copies of The Watchtower, a publication outlining the beliefs of the church. In a statement the next day, Miss Smith said she had already distributed them to friends and family.

The day continued in much the same way, with one resounding success after another. By the time of afternoon prayer, it was realized that MacMillan had done the unthinkable: by selling 200 books, achieving 14 immediate converts, and having 46 people ask for further visits, he had accomplished a feat only done by three others: the triple-double.

The Jehovah’s Witness triple-double is accomplished in three of five ways: selling 150 books, having 10 immediate converts, having 35 people ask for follow up visits, distributing 1000 pamphlets, and frightening at least five people into heart attack. MacMillan narrowly missed a further milestone, as he had only killed four that day.

MacMillan received a plaque commemorating his achievement the very next day, at a special session held by local church elders. Though brought to tears, he remained humble in his acceptance speech.

“I did not do this, this was the work of God. Only through him can we save the degenerates of this world from assisting the antichrist. God truly blesses us today. Now, where can I get some more pamphlets?”