Roger Goodell Sees Shadow, Extends Season By 6 Weeks

Story by Jacob Fricke 

| Published Sep 21, 2010

National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell put to rest months of speculation Monday as he announced the extension of professional football’s season by six games.

Goodell emerged from his office for his annual attempt at decision making at 6 pm, just as the sun was peaking over the horizon. A startled Goodell immediately ran back in to his office after seeing his shadow stretch from his door to the statue of first NFL commissioner Jim Thorpe.

Minutes later, a short and terse statement was emailed to press outlets.

“Following a sign from God, Commissioner Goodell has deemed it prudent to extend the NFL season by a further 6 regular season games. Concerns by the NFL Player’s Association were considered, but ultimately were disregarded. Are you ready for some football?”

Reactions have been mixed. Players are concerned about the toll the additional half dozen games, while fans are happy they will get to see more football.

Ultimately, new Detroit Lions Defensive Tackle summarized it best.

“You mean I have to play another 30 games here? God,” a clearly exasperated Suh said, “I can’t wait till my contract is up.”