Rest Of 1970's To Play Next Year's State Fair

Story by Egon Sinclair 

| Published Sep 8, 2009

Nebraskans who love music but find themselves unable to narrow the scope of their affection down to specific bands have plenty to look forward to next year. A vast majority of the 1970's has been booked for the 2010 Nebraska State Fair, according to Joseph McDermott, the fair's executive director.

Over the past few years, the lineup has included the likes of Hall and Oates, REO Speedwagon and Styx. Next year's proposed lineup continues the State Fair's longstanding tradition of appealing to irony-hungry hipsters, bewildered old people and college freshmen from rural areas enticed by the prospect of an outdoor event that isn't another goddamned tractor pull.

"And naturally, we haven't forgotten our core demographic," McDermott said, "paunchy, unkempt, middle-aged adults hoping to recapture -- even if only for a few hours -- a youth ravaged by time, regret and shattered dreams, before their inevitable return to an ungrateful living Hell erected years ago upon a foundation of controlled substances, passions that have long since cooled and the misguided notion that natural family planning is just as effective as condoms."

Even though he had a whole decade to draw from, McDermott said arranging the 2010 musical acts wasn't all smooth sailing.

"It's been a little difficult to flesh things out, yeah, mostly because a lot of the bands from that era that anyone still listens to are dead," he said. "But we should definitely have something for everyone. Didn't the Banana Splits play instruments or something?

"Fuck it, we'll put 'em on the program."

The 2010 State Fair will be the first gig many of the bands have had in years, as their only current exposure comes from CD boxed set infomercials and the iPod of that one kid in your English class who is way too into classic rock.

Anyone considering attending next year's festivities is advised to check the State Fair's Web site for a complete list of what bands will be there.

"Well, we won't have the entire 1970's play," said Jennifer Rolland, a PR contact with the State Fair. "That would be ridiculous! For starters, we'd have to be break up our perfectly homogeneous roster of relatively inoffensive white guys with guitars."

Granting every popular act from the decade a spot on the main stage could force fair-goers to confront the uncomfortable reality that other races do, in fact, exist, Rolland explained.

"We'll still have a stellar bunch of concerts, though," Rolland said. "We've got Steely Dan, the flute player from Jethro Tull, the only living member of the original Ramones' lineup, plus the three replacements no one cares about.

"Hey, random thought! 'Star Wars' was HUGE back then. I'm going to call up Mark Hamill. Doubt he's doing anything."