Report: Eating Like A Fatass May Cause Obesity

Story by Matt Sueper 

| Published Jan 17, 2012

Results from a recent study by Cambridge University have shown that eating like a fatass may be one source of obesity in America. The study included samples of people from all fifty states, and all states confirmed that fatties eat like fatties.

“Well, this will change everything. Everything we know about obesity has to be thrown out the window with these new findings,” Professor Earl J. Tillman told the DailyER. “Before, we believed obesity to be largely hereditary or due to the poor dietary options necessitated by low income.

But our results clearly show that if one were to have the diet of a fatass, one has a 100% chance of becoming a fatass.”

The intensive study was implemented on January 1st, 2011 and finished on the first of this year. The diets of 1000 obese people were closely monitored and the team at Cambridge searched for any correlation to obesity with eating like a fatass.

In nearly all 1000 cases, the subject did indeed eat like a fatass. The new findings by Prof. Tillman and his team will forever change the treatment for those with obesity.