Renew Party Overcomes Obstacles To Become That Party No One Has Ever Heard Of

Story by Christina Mayer 

| Published Feb 23, 2010

Cori Curtis and his Renew Party believe they have a leg up on their opponents in the upcoming ASUN elections: the power of the people.

Following the trend seen in recent national elections and other “real” electoral contests, Curtis and his party are turning to the World Wide Web in an attempt to enter the ASUN offices from behind.

“We’re really trying to utilize social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter to get our message across,” Curtis said. “I mean, we have some 780 members in our Facebook group. That’s a lot of students. And if we don’t count the four dozen or so who are high school kids or go to a different university, and the 78 members who are also fans of the other two parties, and the 90 percent of those left who won’t actually bother to vote, then we’ve got at least… 65 votes?”

A quick series of interviews around campus revealed mixed reactions to the party among students.

Junior chemistry major Marcus Hayes represented the students with a negative view towards Renew, saying, “Wait… ‘Cori’ is a dude? Shit, that’s weird. But what the hell is ‘Renew?’ And what election?”

Sophomore Jenna Nissen, an art history major, expressed a surprisingly common view of the party. “They’re like Obama or something. You know? Because originally everyone was, like, ‘Who’s Renew?’ But now people sort of, like, know who they are and stuff. They’re really just like him.”

“We are like Obama,” stated external vice presidential candidate Katherine White in response to Nissen’s observation. “No one actually knows who we are, but we’re starting to gain some real support online and from the fact that our platform actually takes a stab at logical sense. We’ve had hardships, certainly, but like Obama, I think we can pull through.”

She added, “Now do I get to do the bit where I say ‘I’m White, and I approve this message?’ Because that would be really legit.”

Curtis and his party are confident that they can achieve victory on March 3. Renew's members have spent most of February campaigning and trying to remember the name of their own internal vice presidential candidate.