Release Of DJ Hero Praised By Parents Hoping To Keep Their Embarrassingly Douchie Kids Away From Public

Story by Erik Mellgren 

| Published Nov 17, 2009

National Parenting Organizations across the country are rushing to support the release of the newest video game from the Guitar Hero family, DJ Hero. Music-based video games allow players to simulate what having actual musical talent might be like. DJ Hero is a simulation of being talented at making remixes on a turntable. The video game is being heralded as a massive step forward in aiding parents to keep their douchebag kids away from public places. Douchie kids are typically between the ages of 12 and 18 and can be identified by their flat-brimmed caps (frequently worn slightly askew), hoodie sweatshirts, Kanye West style “shades” and their general tool-like behavior.

Rudolph Russo, head of the national PTA praised the release, “Once they hit high school, it is almost impossible for a parent to revert their child back from being a total douche. At this point, it is best to simply focus on a younger child in order to prevent them from also becoming a douche. Unfortunately, it is difficult for parents to hide their failures when they go out in public. Now, really douchie kids will stay at home playing DJ Hero, and the parents can go out to eat without embarrassment, making the experience nicer for everyone there.”

DJ Hero units have been flying off the shelves as parents gear up for the holiday season. Jack O’Neil, who has a son in college said, “I am sending this to his dorm tonight. I hope he gets straight D’s this semester because of it. If he doesn’t hit a 3.0, I get to cut him off completely. I didn’t mind paying for the schooling of my daughter, but my son is such a douche.”