Poll: 73% Of Penises ‘Above Average’

Story by Bryce Wergin 

| Published Nov 25, 2008

A student recently polled 500 male students for her final project in her sociology class.

Junior sociology major Whitney Conway picked an interesting topic for her poll. “We had to choose something that made people uncomfortable, so I just decided to ask guys about the size of their penises,” she said.

Out of the 500 randomly selected males polled, 366 answered that their penises were “above average,” 84 said “huge,” and the other 50 either shrieked and ran away or answered “who am I kidding, it’s freaking small.”

“I tried to answer as honestly as I could. I mean, I’m definitely no Goliath here, but for sure I’m above average,” said one student, who wished to remain anonymous. “I guess I don’t really know. I don’t look at other dudes’ penises in the locker room at the rec while I’m weighing myself or flexing in the locker-room mirror. I’m not gay, I LOVE the ladies.”

Conway has acknowledged that there is possibly a margin of error on her survey. “I guess my results could be slightly skewed,” she said. “I’m still hoping I get a good grade on it, though. I mean, maybe all these guys didn’t lie. Maybe we just have a pretty well-hung campus. Ever think about that?”