NU Rowing Team Nothing Like Hydro Thunder

Story by Jacob Fricke 

| Published Oct 5, 2010

Freshman Cody Neuman believed it to be only logical.

“There is no natural water in Nebraska,” Neuman said. “Especially not massive bodies of water. So I thought ‘What else could the rowing team do?’”

Despite the warnings from his fellow underclassmen, Neuman embarked on a journey he thought would consume his freshman year: the University Rowing Team.

“Here’s what should have happened,” Neuman said. “There’s a massive hanger with eight huge boats. They’re all decked out with sick paint jobs and massive engines. Then, they pull a lever. Suddenly, BOOM. Downtown Lincoln is flooded. It’s underwater to the fourth story. We all choose a boat, jump in and race for our lives.”

Neuman’s fantasy continues. “I wasn’t going to choose the spaceship looking one, because clearly I’m not crazy. I figured I’d start with the normal speedboat looking one, just so I could get a hang of how everything works. And I needed to figure out how to make the boat jump.”

Instead, Neuman found a group activity focused on teamwork, the ability to work in unison and immense arm strength. He quit immediately in disgust.

“There’s nothing cool about this. What fun is water if you’re not racing on Lake Powell, running from the police boats at 140 mph? They didn’t even say if there were shortcut,” said Neuman, “This is just sad. At least there’s always Xbox Live.”