All three of your neighbor's dogs were absolutely livid recently when they noticed you had the gall and extremely bad manners to exit your home in the morning so that you could attend class. Sources further report that you were arrogant enough to deny them all attention and eye contact as you locked your front door and did not have the common courtesy to so much as offer any of them a treat or remind them of what good boys and girls they are. In a complete break of protocol, the dogs report that you then began walking down the street on the sidewalk, forcing them to continue their complaints until you were at least two blocks away.
Above: A neighbor's dog is utterly taken aback by your crass exit from your home.
Photo illustration by Landon Stahmer.
At press time, it is expected that the dogs will be forced to air their grievances to you every time you leave or enter your home until you either show them the respect they deserve or your neighbor opens the goddamn back door and lets them inside for Christ's sake.
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