National Organization For Women Unable To Prove They Don't Belong In The Kitchen

Story by Jacob Zlomke 

| Published Mar 9, 2010

After countless well-prepared, home-cooked meals, spotless kitchens and thousands of satisfied children and husbands, the National Organization for Women, the nation’s largest and most influential feminist organization, announced Thursday that it will cease its attempts to dispel the stereotype that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
“At our last national conference, we finally realized it wasn’t worth fighting any longer,” said NOW president Terry O’Neill.
O’Neill said she is tired of trying to disprove a stereotype that is ultimately true. While this shocked the small portion of the nation that follows NOW’s actions, O’Neill said the organization still stands for everything it did before, such as equality in the workplace and the action against the media’s objectification of women. However, she said, "That doesn’t mean a woman can’t enjoy a decent home cooked meal every now and then.”
“We can go out and work all we want. And a successful working woman is something we see more and more every day,” O’Neill said, “but when it comes down to it, we just make damn good meals.”
Husbands of feminists across the country were raising their beers and kicking up their feet in good cheer after the press conference.
“I’m just happy to have my wife back in the house,” said Dan Wellington, local husband. “Ever since she joined NOW, I’ve been doing the cooking — and don’t get me wrong, I’m as much for equality as she is, but I’m sick of frozen waffles and cold Spaghettios every night.”
Members of NOW vocalized agreement with Wellington.
Janet Milliner, member of the Omaha, Neb., NOW chapter said at first she was against the organization’s agenda change.
“It seemed like a big step backward to me,” Milliner said, “but then I remembered how much I love cooking and how much better at it I am than my husband. The kitchen really is the woman’s place, at least much more than it is the man’s.”