MTV's "16 And Pregnant: Afghanistan" Auditions Draw Several Thousand Applicants

Story by Egon Sinclair 

| Published Mar 30, 2010

In keeping with its longstanding tradition of relocating popular reality shows to exotic backdrops (mostly in hopes the pleasant scenery will obscure the fact each season's cast members are almost identical to the coterie of self-involved assholes who preceded them), MTV announced Tuesday the return of its — heavily rebranded — breakout hit "16 and Pregnant." Following announcements of open auditions for "16 and Pregnant: Afghanistan," the excitement emanating from the several thousand applicants clustered in a five-block radius around the U.S. Embassy in Kabul was reportedly palpable, though the overwhelming sporting of burqas made this difficult to confirm.

"This place is a gold mine," said MTV network president Van Toffler. "Shit, when you stop to consider the average Afghani women has seven-and-a-half kids, or that most girls are coerced into marriage before they even turn 16, it's hard to make a case for not shooting the entire series in this wonderful place!"

The forthcoming third season of the show has met little resistance from authorities, owing in part to the country's rich history of exploitative television. Earlier this year, for example, private stations in Kabul broadcast the public beating of a woman accused of elopement to rave reviews.

MTV's extravagant billboards and fliers throughout the city filled candidates for the show with hope, offering them the chance to be pregnant, oppressed and famous, instead of just the first two.

"This is a huge opportunity for me," said one contestant (whose stern male guardian felt stating her name could "instill her with an uppity sense of personhood") moments before she entered the embassy to meet with MTV talent coordinators. "Life expectancy for women here is about 44 years and we have the second highest maternal mortality rate in the world, so I'm kind of racing against the clock."

Although "16 and Pregnant's" creative staff was initially unsure how to amass a greater percentage of television viewers, a law passed in Afghanistan last year caught producers' eyes and convinced them to travel abroad for season three. Called the Shia Family Law, the legislation legally obligates a women to have sex with her husband at least once every four days. Afghani President Hamid Karzai appeared reluctant to discuss this law with DailyER reporters.

"Oh, my God! Again with the spousal rape law? Seriously, what is it with you people?" Karzai asked during a press conference. "Okay, one: We didn't 'legalize' rape... we just let men refuse to feed their wives if they deny them sex. Big difference. And two: The law only applies to the Shia portion of our population, so really, only about three million women are affected. And besides, if they don't like it, they're free to strike out on their own and scratch out a living on less than a third of the wages we pay men and — and... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing — just need a drink of water. Ahem."

Karzai went on to explain the law had been radically amended since it was first introduced, offering progressive reforms such as bumping up the legal marriage age from nine to 16, or allowing a woman to leave her home without a male escort if she needs to seek serious medical attention. He also mentioned the Shia Family Law has been put on hold for further tweaking, meaning it isn't currently being enforced.

"Kind of like the section of our constituion which guarentees gender equality — Heeeeeeeyooooo!" Karzai added, grinning as he scanned the room. "What? No one? No one?"

Contingent on the success of "16 and Pregnant: Afghanistan," MTV hinted other Middle Eastern versions of its programming may be in the works, including "Patriarchal Control," "Is She Really Being Forced to Marry Him?" and "Jalalabad's Best Dance Crew."