Minister Forsakes Bible After Learning Protaginist Was Jewish

Story by Greg Bright 

| Published Oct 26, 2010

The head pastor of First Baptist Church of Dallas announced that he will no longer be living by the Bible after learning that Jesus, Christianity’s savior, was a Jew.

This is the first time pastor Richard Dickinson has forsaken the whole Bible, but he already made headlines after his decision last year to stop reading the first five chapters of the Old Testament, after learning that Genesis through Deuteronomy made up the Jewish Torah.

“I taught this book like it was the damn truth. I can’t believe this. No book with Jews as the good guys could possibly be right,” Dickinson said. "I mean, I already knew that the first five chapters were wrong, but I just can’t believe the whole book is wrong. At least I can stop feeling guilty about seeing that prostitute now.”

After the initial shock, most of the congregation agreed with the pastor’s decision.

“Any book that has a Jew as the savior is obviously wrong. Seriously, who would believe that a Jew saved the human race?” Terri Lyndale, a member of Dickinson’s congergation, said.

“I’m not really sure what we’ll follow now. I’ve been searching online and I found this really cool church in Kansas called the Westboro Baptist Church. They seem to have gotten it right. We’ll have to check them out,” Dickinson said.