McDonald’s Introduces Pre-blended Value Meals To Solve Chewing Hassle

Story by Aaron Boyd 

| Published Nov 25, 2008

At McDonald's quarterly fiscal report press conference, it unveiled its newest offering in order to meet the ever-changing needs of customers.

Besides discussing the success of their McCafe menu items, spokesman Allen Carter reported plans to add pre-blended value meals as way of serving customers with busy schedules.

The pre-blended value meals, also referred to as PB value meals (their marketing name), were originally targeted at senior citizens.

McDonald's receives a dozen hand-written complaints yearly from elderly customers with issues such as "my jaw became unhinged after taking a bite out of a Big Mac," "the bone fragment found in my McNugget broke my dentures" and "I didn't know the coffee I poured on my lap would be so hot."

After an overwhelming response from a McDonald's in Florida, as well as Ronald McDonald Assisted Living Communities, the company decided to implement this unique service to all of its restaurants by the end of 2008.

However, the market for elderly customers has been shrinking in the past decade due to lifestyle changes such as dying.

However, McDonald's may be in luck with a different demographic.

Michelle Swanson discovered the convenience of the PB meal during a routine 10-minute monthly visit to her elderly mother.

As she was leaving the nursing home in a hurry to get to a scheduled meeting, she decided to grab some McDonald's. She opted to purchase a PB value meal as she did not have the time to chew her food.

“When you’re always on the run and constantly talking to clients on a Bluetooth headset, all that chewing takes away precious seconds to communicate,” Swanson explained. “Thanks to the PB value meal, when I’m driving I can hold an entire meal in one hand, while I’m finding the perfect song to express myself on my iPod.”

Customers from the test markets have had positive feedback for the revolutionary way of eating their McDinners.

Carter elaborated on the revolutionary creation, “We’ve made it so all the ingredients blend perfectly so that there is synergy among the flavors. The medium beverage, fries, and sandwich mix together in such a way that they retain their distinct tastes, yet combine into a slurry of flavor. In fact, most customers have said that the PB value meals taste even better than value meals which require chewing distinguishable foods items.”

The only complaint received about the PB value meals is that when it is ingested through a clear straw, it has the appearance of vomit. But this has not deterred the customers from continuing to drink their meal after noticing its unappetizing appearance.

Carter also reported that the PB value meals have been an unexpected success in other hard to reach niche markets. Those who have shown great interest in McDonald’s newest creation include diverse ages such as babies whose parents insist that child can’t get enough of the drink when it’s poured in a bottle.

Hockey players as well as meth addicts have garnered support for the new way to enjoy McDonald’s without chewing, which normally requires several teeth to properly consume.