Lack Of Celebrity Role Model Forcing Girl To Look Up To Parents

Story by Mitch McCann 

| Published Nov 29, 2011

Following the recent divorce of celebrity entrepreneur and television star Kim Kardashian, local preteen Hailey Brooks admitted in her US History class that her role model has unfortunately fallen back to Brooks’ last possible option: Carl and Ruth Brooks, Hailey’s parents.

Carl and Ruth, 54 and 52 respectively, told reporters they are glad to hear of their daughter’s latest decision, despite the timing.

“We have always given Hailey everything she wants. We’ve attended countless dance recitals and softball games, given her everything she asks for for Christmas, and last summer, we even adopted the puppy she wanted. Late is better than never.”

Brooks, 13, is an aspiring famous musician/reality star. Requests by her teachers to find a more positive or politically-oriented role model have largely fallen on deaf ears, with Brooks instead opting to watch hours of “iCarly” and “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.”

“I searched for as long as I could. MTV, E!, VH1. Because, like, no one wants to have to look up to their parents. They’re just... lame. Idk.” explained Brooks.

“Kim [Kardashian] just has too much drama on her plate without her having to worry about me looking up to her anymore. At first I thought maybe Chelsea [Handler], but her skin is way too saggy. And Snooki and Jwoww are so three months ago. So, yeah. When my teacher asked, I said mommy and daddy. So what? It’s not like I meant it, or whatever.”