KKK To Don Throwbacks To Commemorate 300th Consecutive Meeting Without Someone Forgetting To Bring Snacks

Story by Will Sharpe 

| Published Oct 6, 2009

There was a time when being a racist was easier, a time when white men could hate black people from the comfort of their overalls without having to worry about whether or not their hoods were providing sufficient cranial coverage. For Ku Klux Klan members in Pulaski, Tenn., home of the Klan’s flagship chapter, those days feel closer than ever.

“We used to live in a simple time, where white men hated blacks with the genuine coldness of their hearts and not because we were scared of one running the country,” remarked Grand Master Boone Harris. “There’s been a real longing for the good old times around here lately.”

This collective longing is what prompted Harris to use the celebration of the Pulaski chapter’s 300th consecutive meeting without somebody forgetting to bring snacks as an homage to that picturesque past and those guys that “really, really hated black people.” Harris has encouraged chapter members to attend Saturday’s celebration without their traditional Klan robes in favor of a more grassroots ensemble.

“There’s a picture of my grandpa at one of Pulaski’s first KKK meetings,” said Harris, his tone growing sentimental. “He’s shirtless, barefoot and wielding a pitchfork with flaming spires. God, he really hated black people. So shamelessly.”

Harris added that while Saturday is about honoring the Pulaski chapter’s past, the fact that it will mark the 300th consecutive meeting with snacks provided, cannot be overlooked.

“I brought Zebra Cakes last month, and I’m pretty sure brother Abner has a whole mess of Star Crunches for the big 300,” commented chapter treasurer Alton Hayes. “Snacks are an integral component to a productive meeting and really get us brainstorming about things like drinking fountain resegregation and where we can march without the threat of fecal projectiles.”

When asked what the big 300 meant to him, Grand Master Harris needed a moment to collect himself.

“It’s hard because I’ve seen how riled up the boys can get without proper snacks. Brother Calvin brought orange wedges and raisins last year, and at that point, I never thought I’d get to see 300 consecutive snacktacular meetings.”