Iowa’s Exotic Ice Sculpture Industry Booming After Gay Marriage Amendment

Story by Emily Wilson 

| Published Nov 17, 2009

With the nation still struggling economically, David Newsom, Iowan and owner of Ice Ice Baby, was concerned about his small business, “I mean ice sculptures are classy and all, but I was really worried about people cutting them out of their event planning. It’s not like they’re No. 1 on anybody's priority list,” Newsom said.

However, Newsom has noticed a rise in sales in the past quarter, and he has an explanation, “It’s all them queers,” Newsom said. “They can’t get enough fancy shit for their commitment ceremonies or their weddings or whatever.”

Since gay marriage was legalized in April, Newsom has noticed an increase not only in the quantity of ice sculpture orders he is filling for gay weddings, but also in the extravagance. “Last week I have these guys come in, tell me they’re doin’ some Gilligan’s Island theme or whatever and ask me to sculpt the S.S. Minnow for their reception. Custom job, 400 pounds of ice — that’s going to run about $600,” Newsom said. “And next weekend, I’ve got a couple of lesbians who want a built-to-scale model of Fiona Apple for their anniversary party.”

“Ice Ice Baby” isn’t the only ridiculously impractical Iowa business that has seen a rise in profit since gay marriage was legalized in April. Jerry Holmes, owner of chocolate fountain supplier Sinful Indulgences, has seen a spike in customers, as well.

“Honestly, with money tight like it is, I wouldn’t even splurge on a fountain,” Holmes said. “But these guys spare no expense.”

Gay men in Iowa are elated for one more reason to throw an awesome party.

“My finance Glen and I have a lot of disposable income right now,” said recently engaged Ken Miller. “If we want custom tuxes made for our English Bulldogs, Willy and Nilly, then we’re going to have them made,” Miller said. “Why should we be ashamed of being successful and having great taste in doggie couture?”

Experts are flocking to Iowa to study what the Hawkeye State is doing right. “I call it the “Fatuous Phenomena,” said Shelby Culver, economist and author of "Gay Money." “Basically gay men have a relatively high annual income, so they overindulge in frivolous things to compensate for their otherwise empty lives.” Culver went on to note that lesbians do the same thing, but it's harder to track their purchases because, “You can pretty much pick up plaid shirts anywhere.”