Interview With Bill Scheft

Story by Adam Templeton 

| Published Sep 8, 2009

Bill Scheft is a funny guy. So funny, in fact, that he's been on David Letterman's writing staff for the past 18 years, snagging a cool 16 Emmy nominations in the process. He also wrote for Sports Illustrated from 2002 to 2005, garnering national attention for his humor column "The Show." Most recently, Scheft wrapped up his third novel, "Everything Hurts."

In addition to being a prolific comedy writer, Scheft is an all-around good guy who found time in his jam-packed schedule to talk to the DerN about the craft of making people laugh.

ER: So, right off the bat, why (and how) did you make comedy your profession?

BS: When I was 18, me and a few of my friends stole a faculty member's car and snuck out of Deerfield Academy to a bar in Northampton called the Early Times. I did 7 minutes of stand-up that night (90 percent stolen material) and loved it. It was always something I knew I could do.

Everyone assumed I was moving to Manhattan to become a comic. I was moving to become a freelance sportswriter, but when it became tough to make a living at that, I auditioned at Catch a Rising Star (December, 1980), eventually became a regular there and soon was working all over the country. I did that for 12 years before I got hired at the Letterman show in 1991 (that was after being turned down five times for a job there).

So, it was never my intention to make it my profession, but as they say, luck is when opportunity meets preparation.

ER: You've run the gamut from books to columns to writing material for David Letterman. What's your favorite way to make people laugh, and why?

BS: Every way that you mentioned has its own particular charms and its own set of muscles that you work. And they are all uniquely satisfying. But in terms of purely making people laugh, my favorite method is telling stories to a small group of people over a meal, over coffee or in somebody's office at work. That is the most immediate connection and most satisfying.

And it means the most because I don't get paid to do it.

ER: Speaking of writing for Letterman, what's the monologue-writing process like? Do you consult with him before you write anything, or do you whip something up and then hand it to him?

BS: There are four of us who concentrate on the monologue. We turn jokes in around 11:30 and Dave selects the ones he likes. Those go onto cue cards. We know from how many he takes and the topics he's covered if we need to write more jokes. Most days we do. There's a short monologue meeting at 2:00. By then, ideally, we have 20-30 jokes on cards, which are whittled down to the 15 or so he'll do on the show. If news breaks between then and the time we tape (4:30), we'll write jokes on that.

It's a volume business. To get to the 15 jokes you see him tell on the air every night, Dave or myself or Steve Young (the other monologue coordinator) will have looked at 300 jokes.

ER: What's it like writing a comedic bit for someone else to read, especially a well known talk show host? Do you ever write something and say to yourself, "Well, maybe Dave can make this part funny?"

BS: The first question you have to ask is, "Is this something Dave would say?" The second question is, "Is it funny enough for Dave to say?" If the answer is yes to both, only then do you turn it in. If Dave can make it funnier, he will. And he does.

ER: Your first novel, "The Ringer," was recently optioned for film by United Artists, based on a screenplay you wrote. How much of a hand will you have in the finished product, and what do you think the biggest difference is between books (written humor) and film (visual humor)?

BS: Sadly, it was optioned seven years ago, and then United Artists was swallowed up by Sony and the project got put on hold until the option lapsed. I'm close to another option with an independent company. But let's say it had gone all the way. The screenplay I wrote would have been rewritten several times and if I was lucky enough content would have remained that I would have received a screen credit. But more likely, it would have been WRITTEN BY ___________ and ______________ BASED ON THE NOVEL "THE RINGER" BY BILL SCHEFT. That's usually the way it works, especially with a first-time screenwriter.

That said, I loved adapting my novel. Most novelists hate it for the very reason you inferred, that the medium is totally visual. But I loved it because there was no anxiety over the material I was working with. And most important, I knew how the story ended. The guy at UA who bought it said my adaptation was the finest first draft he'd ever read and greenlit the movie based on the script, which never happens. The fact that the same guy lost his job three months later is purely coincidental.

ER: Have any of the other late night talk shows ever tried to spirit you away to their programs? How much competition is there between late night talk shows, anyway?

BS: I have had a few whispering offers, but once you pass the five-year mark with one show, you become associated with that show. The competition between late night shows is over guests and viewers, not staff. [The writers] all know how intense the day-to-day gig is, so we respect each other.

ER: Your wife, Adrianne Tolsch, is also a comedian. Do you guys ever bounce new material off of each other? Ever consider collaborating on a project together?

BS: We are bouncing off each other as we speak. People ask me all the time, "Do you write her material?" And I say, "Here's how I write her material. Every time she says something funny, I say, 'Write that down.'"

We've done a few things together, but we're better off asking each other for help rather than strapping us both to a table. (Although we've tried that, too....)

ER: You've written for several awards shows, including the Emmys, the Tonys and the Grammys. What's different about writing for those kinds of programs? Also, is there an award for award show writing?

BS: The biggest difference is that you're writing for people who cannot always rehearse or deliver the material, so you need to keep it simple. And other than the host, you're not writing for a particular voice, which is why most award show "patter" sounds the same. It is not the most creative outlet. But. I have been lucky enough to be a part of a couple great award show moments, just enough to make me think, "Okay, one more, but that's it."

And I know the second part of the question was meant as a joke, but I have been nominated once for an Emmy for an award show I wrote on.

ER: I saw your interview with Letterman about your latest book, "Everything Hurts." Do you like that kind of exposure, or do you prefer to work as a "behind-the-scenes" sort of guy?

BS: I was a stand-up for 12 years, but wanted out of it after 6 because I realized I was basically an introvert. An introvert doesn't mean shy, it means you get your energy from inside, not from other people. My wife is an off-the-chart extrovert, which is why she loves to perform.

I love the exposure for the book, I know it's necessary and I know I will deliver, but as thrilled as I am when it goes well on TV, I am 10x more thrilled when it's over and I go back to my office and write in solitude.

ER: In that interview, you discussed how the plots in your books were semi-autobiographical. How much did you draw from your own life to write each of your three novels? Do you ever worry about running out of zany stuff from your own life to write about?

BS: The best advice I ever got about writing fiction was "make your characters lives complicated." So, while I draw on my life experience, as a novelist I need to complicate it up a bit. That's where the "zany" comes in.

And what kind of self-respecting neurotic would I be if i didn't constantly worry about running out of stuff? Thanks for re-opening that wound....

ER: That wraps up all of my questions. Anything else you'd like to add? Any future projects in the works?

BS: 50 pages into my next novel, but now that you brought up that crap about running out of stuff in my life, I don't know if I'll be able to continue....