In Hilarious Blunder, Local Teen Has Two Dates To Big Dance

Story by Jacob Zlomke 

| Published Oct 6, 2009

Patrick Furman, a Washington High School junior, faces a “difficult predicament” regarding the school’s big dance Friday night, said sources close to Furman. Through a series of awkward mix-ups, Furman reportedly has two dates to the dance — both of which he will allegedly try to juggle throughout the night.

“It really began when Emily Rockford showed an interest in Pat during geography last week,” said Thomas Manning, a friend and fellow student of Furman’s. “Pat has been into her for a long time — since like sophomore year. So he wanted to ask her to the dance.”

Manning went on to say once Furman finally “got the balls” to ask Rockford for a date, she withheld her reply for a few days. Before Rockford gave an answer, Hannah Dolan asked Furman if he would go with her to the dance.

“I’ve seen Pat pull some pretty douchey stuff,” Manning said, “but when he said yes to Hannah, a girl he has no interest in, he took it to a whole new level — especially when he didn’t cancel with Emily.”

With the dance less than a week away, students are beginning to take notice.

“Patrick has been acting strange," said sophomore Layne Briggs. "He gets all sweaty and weird whenever he talks about the dance, like he’s going to have a panic attack or something. I heard he’s going with Emily Rockford. He should be pretty happy about that."

“I feel sort of bad for Pat,” said senior Jason Dowse. “He has to go to the big dance with that Dolan chick. Not only is she not that good looking, but she doesn’t even put out.”

Furman has developed a plan for Friday night, though, said Tim Jacobs, Furman’s self-proclaimed best friend.

“He is going to pick up Emily around seven because she lives farthest away from the school. Then, I'll come find him once the two of them are situated at the dance and tell him I need help with something, so he'll leave and pick up Hannah, who only lives like a block from the school,” Jacobs said. “So once he's there with Hannah, I'll go tell Emily that he'll be right back. He'll then dance one song with Hannah, use the excuse of the bathroom and find Emily to dance a couple of songs with her. At that time, he'll ditch Emily with some of her friends, and he'll dance one more song with Hannah and then tell her he doesn’t feel well and is going to leave and take her home. Then he'll return from taking Hannah home and remain at the dance with Emily.”

“There is absolutely no way this could possibly blow up in his face. It is so perfect.”

Furman could not be reached for comment due to preparation for Friday’s plans, which will allegedly involve two changes of clothes, running shoes, a rose and a bucket of water.