"I'm Writing A Novel," Man Writing Novel Tells Every Girl At Bar

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| Published Nov 23, 2010

Mark Douglas is writing a novel, and he wants you to know.

“Especially if you’re a girl. Especially, especially if you’re hot. Wait, don’t print that last part,” Douglas said.

Douglas has long been an aspiring novelist, and nurtured an interest in fiction from an early age. While he has yet to sell any of his writing or find anybody willing to read it, he achieved limited fame last Friday when he mentioned it to every girl in a local bar.

“The trick is to seem casual about it,” said Douglas to his friend. “Girls don’t like it when you seem too desperate. Hey, I haven’t talked to her yet.”

“I’m writing a novel,” he called after a passing dark-haired girl.

November is National Novel Writing Month, a competition in which thousands of aspiring writers sign up to produce 50,000 words of fiction before Dec. 1. Mark took to the challenge with enthusiasm.

“It’s great motivation to write. Plus, you know, girls dig that kind of stuff. A novel. That’s sophisticated.”

Asked what his novel was about, Mark stammered a little. “It’s kind of complicated. It’s hard to explain. But if you want, I could read you some excerpts back at my place.

“I’m very private about my writing. I don’t make offers like that to just everyone,” added Douglas, who had made that same offer to 29 other girls that evening.

Reportedly, at the bar, Mark ordered a scotch, which seemed to him the kind of drink a brooding writer would order. He spent the night sipping it, pen poised over a sheet of blank paper, staring contemplatively into the distance.