Honor Student Pressures Pothead Friend To Try UCARE

Story by Ben Plowman 

| Published Nov 11, 2008

When junior mathematics major and long-time honor student Jeremy Sorensen first tried undergraduate research, or “UCARE” as its users refer to it, his first thought was that roommate and avid pothead Brian Matthews would love it.

He was wrong.

“Jeremy approached me one day while I was smoking a bowl and watching the second ninja turtles movie,” said Matthews, describing the first time he was pressured to try UCARE.

“[Jeremy] just started breaking out all of these applications and opening books and stuff. I was like, ‘slow down, man, what if someone sees me with this stuff?’”

Matthews, like hundreds of other students, has had to sit back and watch as his friend was consumed by an addiction that, according to an anonymous survey distributed by campus officials, is among the fastest growing at UNL today.

Prized for its legality and relatively low cost, UCARE users like Jeremy Sorensen swear by its ability to illuminate whole subjects.

Proponents of UCARE claim it has a wide range of desired effects ranging from enhanced résumé, prolonged ambition, and, in some users, an urge to try stronger things, with some users even ending up in grad school.
 
“All of a sudden it was like light came flooding into my mind and Fourier transforms made perfect sense for the first time in my life,” Sorensen said, describing his first time doing UCARE.

Not all UCARE trips end so well, however, warns campus police department representative Carol Schlepper.

Sleeplessness, decreased sensitivity to personal hygiene, and loss of sense of humor are among the milder side effects, she warns.

“People think that just because it’s legal it must be safe,” Schlepper said. “That’s just not true. It’s not uncommon for someone doing UCARE to start searching for a stronger high. Pretty soon they’re applying to be a TA, showing up to their professors’ office hours or, heaven forbid, applying to grad schools.”
 
Users like Sorensen, however, say UCARE is no different from drugs like marijuana or adderall that are accepted just because they’ve been around so long.

“I’ve been doing UCARE for a year and a half now and if I really wanted to, I could stop right now,” Sorensen said, dismissing widespread claims of side-effects he says are over-stated.

“In fact, I could quit whenever I wanted, provided I do so in writing and my two-year contract has expired,” he added.