Guy Waiting In Line For Urinal Doesn’t Have To Go To The Bathroom

Story by John Rincon 

| Published Feb 9, 2010

The cramped space that is the first floor men’s bathroom in CBA became an epicenter of awkwardness on Monday when students noticed former student Gregory Sheffield standing in line for the urinal, but never actually using it.

James Harpe, a sophomore business major, noticed Sheffield when he saw him standing in the same spot several times throughout the day.

“At first I was relieved when he let me go ahead of him because I really had to take a leak, but then he didn’t even use the urinal after I was done."

"He just kept smiling at me, nodding his head,” said Harpe. “Then I saw him three hours later when I got out of my macro class. Same spot. No line. Just standing there, watching.”

Other students, who wish to remain anonymous because they feel so dirty for reasons they can’t explain, reportedly heard Sheffield muttering comments such as “nice,” “mmm” and “not too fast” under his breath.

“I don’t know what his problem is man,” said junior finance major Chris Mewes. “I asked him what he was doing and he completely avoided the question. He told me I looked strong.

"Then he told me that he’s pretty strong himself and that we should work out some time.”

Sheffield, a UNL alum, graduated with a bachelor’s in architecture in 2003. That year his class voted him “Most Likely to Go to Prison for a Sexual Offense.”

Later that year Sheffield was sentenced to seven years in prison for a sexual offense.