Glue Sniffing Surpasses Whip Its On East Campus

Story by Dan Stier 

| Published Sep 21, 2010

“We used to have a real problem here”, said campus security officer David Flitch, “It went beyond just having to lock up all the kitchens, we would have to have a man in front of every door. Kids here just could not get enough of that whipped cream”

The term “whip-its” derives when crafty kids found that the little puff of air right before whipped cream comes out of the can, gives you a little buzz. “This used to be a real problem over on UNL’s East Campus” Chancellor Harvey Perlmann said.

Now there is a new craze that seems to be keeping the students out of the kitchens and under control, Perlmann said. Glue sniffing is an old favorite, and makes one more calm than “whip its”.

“This is great! Now we can focus our efforts more on the important stuff, like getting ice cream at the dairy store” Bob Henderson, head of security on East Campus said.

“We even set up designated areas for students to sniff glue out side the East Union” Said Union Director Larry Carlson.

“This is really cool, that the university is so down with this. We are always just super bored, like there is literally nothing to do over here;” said an out of breath East Campus resident, while wiping blood from his nose.

“The hope is soon we can really expand on the campus itself. We are seeing an influx of money coming from the school supplies section of the convenience store here,” East Campus Marketing Director Frank Kirche said, “We can finally pour more parking lots for the tractors, and add more horse troughs.”