Girl Apparently Thinks She Can Seriously Get Away With That Top

Story by Mitch McCann 

| Published Oct 11, 2011

Reports surfaced early in the week that sophomore English major Lindsay Holt has spent the last several weeks wearing questionable attire around campus. While statements have varied concerning the source of the wardrobe, it would appear that Holt’s selection of blouses and tops has lead to growing concern among her close friends and family.

Students around UNL are also taking notice, and petitions have even been started for the immediate sanctioning on Holt’s wardrobe. Several community organizations have also volunteered to donate clothes and gift cards to popular retailers in an effort to correct,as David Manderscheid, Dean of Arts & Sciences called Holt, “the eyesore.”

Efforts to alert the sophomore have been repeatedly attempted but resoundingly ignored by Holt, who sees no problem with her taste in clothing

“I think they’re all just jealous. It took me years of rummaging through Goodwill bins and my great-grandmother’s attic to find gems like these, and I’m not about to just give that all up,” said Holt

“We love Lindsay, but sometimes it’s hard to be near her. I didn’t even know they made paisley like that anymore. She looks like a walking J.Garcia tie.” said Holt’s mother, Sharon.

There is, however, hope that Holt will be set straight, by force if not by choice.

“Holt’s continued attempts to further her wardrobe have been met with opposition by the student body at large,” said Dean Manderscheid “Talk around the water cooler says that Canfield Administration Building has considered giving her an academic hold until she wises up. No one wants someone like that at UNL. She’s making the whole university look bad.”