Editor's Note | 9/6

Story by Jacob Zlomke 

| Published Sep 6, 2011

Readers,
College can be intimidating. Just ask the doe-eyed, innocent freshmen--merely infantile collegians--who probably spent their summer in heated anticipation of the fall. You know, football games, dorm floor meetings, the works. New Student Enrollment probably even got them excited for buying books.

For these freshmen, and the freshmen that we all once were, idealism, positivity and high expectations probably still hold fast. And that’s good. Hang on to that. It’s when one becomes cynical that the college experience becomes bitter, and the path to graduation littered with the corpses of hobbies past.

So, the following is a sort of guide for freshmen, and anyone, really, to not only surviving, but succeeding over the next few years at the University.

1. Stay in touch with your high school friends. This one’s tough, I know. More often than not, high school friends are chosen out of necessity. High school friends are usually not people you actually like, just people that you don’t hate. And now that you’re in college, the possibilities for friendships with people you genuinely can connect with are almost endless. So why would you bother with your childhood friends? It might even be annoying that you have to see them around campus. But look at it this way: you’re going to be taking some really hard classes, and your friend from high school algebra might be the key to passing that Calculus 104 class. What I’m saying is that it won’t kill you to force that friendship just a little longer.

2. Relax. Seriously the best advice you’ll ever get. Don’t let feeling like you’re behind on life bog you down. Your friends in the journalism and engineering colleges are all going to get really fancy-pants internships in exotic-sounding places like “Kansas City” and “Scottsdale, Arizona” while you’ll be in Lincoln wondering why there aren’t any internships for people studying acting. Well, bollocks to them, I say. Roll with what comes your way and don’t let the pressure get to you.

3. Keep track of your money. It’s pretty hard to explain to your parents that, yes, you really did spend $2500 of financial aid on food and alcohol by mid-October. So keep that check book balanced and use your money as wisely as possible. For instance, there are a lot of things you can buy with your NCard on campus that will get charged to your student bill. If your parents pay your student bill, then the problem ends there. If you pay your own, then you get to at least pretend that you’re not spending the money for a month or so. And that’s almost as good.

4. Start anew, completely. If I’m totally honest with myself, I can admit that I sucked in high school. If I’m totally honest with myself, I can admit that you probably sucked in high school, too. So why bring your sucky high school self to college? Leave it at home and only use it when you need Calculus help from your hometown friends (via list item number one). Out of all the people on campus, not many knew you before college so it should be easy for you to develop a completely new, non-sucky personality. You’ll be much more likable and all you’ll have to deal with is the emotional pain of leading a false life.

In conclusion, college is easy. One numbered list-easy, in fact. Follow these rules to the letter and you will be completely and successfully enveloped in what can’t not be the best time of your life.