Editor's Note (3/9/10)

Story by John Rincon 

| Published Mar 9, 2010

Hello friends,

I was mean to a friend recently, and it was wrong.

She bore the brunt of the frustration that I had allowed to build up for the past week.

While she may have played a part in the problem, she wasn't the cause of it and I had no right to treat her as such.

She was an easy target and I lost control.

While perhaps the damage isn’t irreparable, I still know it is significant. I hope she can forgive me and we can begin to rebuild the bond we had.


The point of this anecdote is that we should use our friends to assuage our frustration and anger during stressful times, not to make them the victims of our diatribes and tantrums.

As flawed beings, every one of us has the potential to lose our tempers and make mistakes, but that is hardly an excuse to abuse the people who love us.


Though it becomes easy to take them for granted, the people who love and support us are the ones we need to appreciate and protect the most.

My friends know that I have their backs no matter how great the adversity, and I know they would do the same for me.

That’s why my true friends should never become scapegoats for my anger, and neither should your own.

There will always be those days when punching a friend’s face into a fine powder sounds like sweet justice, but more times than not, problems can and should be settled diplomatically.

Patience and understanding make for far better tools of conflict resolution than fury and fist fights do, I promise.

But it is also important to remember the weight and power of words.

Often times, things said in the heat of the moment hurt more than physical aggression ever could.


Growing up, I was often unreasonably indignant, but as I’ve matured I have learned to channel that negative, explosive energy into activities that are far less destructive.

While I may still have an affinity for depreciating sarcasm, it doesn't compare to the way I once used words as weapons.

Fueled by an endless wealth of rage, I belittled and berated people at the first hint of opposition.


But that's not the person I want to be, and I’ve done my best over the years to cope with the insecurities that propagate my anger.

I have learned ways to lessen my inherent need to control--I let some things slide.

Rarely do things transpire exactly how we want them to, so just roll with it.

It’s how we learn; it’s how we grow.

Try not to let your anger get the best of you.

Instead of throwing a hissy fit every time your friend gets on your nerves, take the time to calm down and address the situation with grace and empathy.

If the situation still ends badly, at least it won't be from your lack of sensitivity.

But mean people still suck. Fuck them.

That is all.

Salud,


John Rincon
Editor-in-Chief
DailyER Nebraskan