Editor's Note (11/11/2008)

Story by Carson Vaughan 

| Published Nov 11, 2008

Hot damn! We did it! We finally did it!

Kiss my ass, affirmative action!

Please excuse my behavior; I’ve struggled to maintain my composure since I heard the good news.

But this is truly a momentous occasion, and one that deserves some celebration.

Overcoming adversity is tremendous, but overcoming diversity?

DAMN! Damn near impossible! And to think we did it without the help (or approval) of either the student government or the Board of Regents…DAMN!

One more hit like this and we won’t even need that new multicultural center anymore!

Finally my middle-class white male brethren and I will receive the cash we deserve for playing high school football and acting in the drama club.

Show me the money!

Did I say I played the lead?

One time I participated in a highway trash pickup.

But as sincerely jubilant as the ban on affirmative action in Nebraska makes me, we must not forget about those discriminatory few who voted against the ban.

As arrogant as it may seem, some Nebraskans feel affirmative action is necessary in the state. Some have the audacity to call it important!

Some people even believe Nebraska should seek out diversity and rope it in!

Those people kill me! They really do. It’s almost as if they want to live and learn in an environment filled with people who aren’t exactly like us. It’s disgusting, really.

Vile.

Keep these people in your thoughts and prayers. Our state is only as good as the lowest, filthy common denominator.

(i.e. Nebraskans United)

Today, however, we must celebrate as hard as we did when we defeated those radical commies in the Teacher’s College a few weeks ago.

I still can’t believe they tried to bring the 1997 Chicago citizen of the year. Who’s next, a leading scholar in stem-cell research?

Anyway, I digress.

Cheers to the annihilation of discrimination!

All of us enlightened voters may sleep soundly knowing we did our part to keep the rest of the world out of our home and all that extra money within.


Respectfully-er,


Carson Vaughan
Editor-In-Chief
Dailyer Nebraskan