Dubai Sells Man-Made Island To Finance New Man-Made Island

Story by Christina Mayer 

| Published Apr 13, 2010

The emirate of Dubai, which has amassed more than $80 billion in debt in the wake of the global financial crisis, announced groundbreaking recovery plans this morning in a meeting with state investors. Sheik Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum declared that Dubai would sell one of its famous, but economically unstable, man-made palm islands in order to finance a new man-made island.

“We paid off some of what we owed using a bailout from Abu Dhabi, our generous neighbor,” said Al Maktoum, uncle of Dubai's ruler, and the man in charge of dealing with the massive debt. "But we need to find a way to jump-start our economy to its former state of glory.

"After much debate, my colleagues and I have decided that the best place to begin, is to sell one of our two ill-concieved palm islands, which over the last several years have lost this government millions of dirham in revenue. Using the funds from that sale, we will be able to finance an even bigger island, which I'm sure will work out much better for us."

Critics of the proposed sale include Dr. Mohammed Khalfan bin Khirbash, Abu Dhabi's Minister of State for Finance and Industry. Bin Khirbash cites multiple concerns regarding the plan, chief among which is trying to find a buyer for a giant island that may, or may not, be eroding in to the Persian Gulf.

"I'm not saying that the island is sinking," the minister stated dubiously in an interview, "but I'm relatively sure there are several areas where the frondy bits are being reclaimed by the Gulf. Abu Dhabi has already granted Dubai quite a lot of money to help pay off their debts. We have no desire to bail them out the next time one of their mad ideas goes awry."

He added, "and does anyone else think those islands look like squid in non-arial shots? I half expect them to start making a sea cucumber island this time around. Or a beluga."

Al Maktoum defended his nation's plan. "We will find a buyer. Surely someone out there could be convinced to purchase this beautiful example of mankind's strength, vision, and egotism? I know the last two islands haven't been quite the success we invisioned. But I can think of no reason that a third attempt, with little to no change from the original two, will not succeed. We have the ingenuity of Dubai behind this project. We will prevail."

Al Maktoum refused to publicly speculate on the potential shape of the new island, though an unnamed source said that it would likely take the form of some tropical flora again. Al Maktoum did say, however, that Dubai has a back-up plan in case this third island falls through: "We'll sell it and build a fourth one."