Drunken Obama Equally Charismatic

Story by Ben Plowman 

| Published Nov 11, 2008

Despite repeated claims by party-goers late last night that president-elect Barack Obama was “totally smashed,” the soon-to-be president still managed to captivate guests with his steady poise and clearly enunciated words, even after what must have been his eighth or ninth drink.

Obama had gathered a group of campaign workers and key advisers at a hotel near his Chicago home to celebrate their hard work on the campaign.
    
“Can we raise our glasses in a toast to this historic campaign? Yes we can,” Obama reportedly said, before downing a shot of tequila without breaking his signature smile, despite the overwhelming sourness of the liquor.

Early in the evening, Obama had announced his new plan to shotgun a can of PBR anytime someone said the word “elitist” to him as part of a conversation.

This occurred on at least three occasions, with Obama neither spilling a drop nor succumbing to urges to break down and make comments about Cindy McCain that he would later regret.
    
When a supporter from Iowa asked Obama if he thought consuming so much alcohol would give early fuel to the criticism from republicans, Obama responded that the end of eight long years of President George W. Bush was more than enough cause to get tipsy.

He then smashed a can against his head and set it gently inside a recycling bin, before speaking on the importance of simple acts like recycling to build a coherent new national policy toward the environment.
  
At one point, Obama was seen sitting against a wall with his eyes closed. Campaign manager David Plouffe approached him, fearing he had passed out.

Before Plouffe could rouse Obama, however, Obama’s eyes snapped open and he trotted to the podium to give an impromptu speech of thanks to the intimate gathering, bringing many in attendance to tears.
    
The night concluded when Obama did a keg stand, spun in a circle ten times and then stood stationary and recited Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech from memory while accurately impersonating the Rev. King’s voice.