Darn Right Sarah Palin Will Betcha She’s [words To Fill Space] Good At Memorizing

Story by Casey Welsch 

| Published Oct 14, 2008

It’s been a few weeks since Joe “The Bruiser” Biden laid the verbal beat-down on Sarah “The Peccable” Palin, but several speculators have praised her performance for an entirely different reason.

It turns out Palin has an unbelievable mind and an undeniable talent for memorizing anything and everything other people tell her.

“Her head is just so empty,” said David Hollyfield, a conservative speculator. “It’s fantastic. Anything that John McCain tells her will get stored there just aching to be reiterated,”

Hollyfield said. “When he dies, she’ll be the perfect takeover. She’s so brainwashed!”

Even Sarah Palin herself is aware of her skills in memorization.

“Darn right, I betcha I’m good at memorizing stuff donchaknow,” Palin said. “I guess it comes with bein’ a hockey mom, havin’ to always know where you gotta go and stuff. You know, the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is knowin’ how to memorize stuff, because animals don’t have souls. It’s in the Bible.”

Liberal speculators have cited Palin’s utter lack of any original thought in her head as a negative thing.

“I’ll give her this, she did have all her prepared statements for the debate memorized extremely well,” said Chip Mayfield.

“She never stammered once. Biden did, but that’s because he was thinking of all that on the fly. Palin had everything written for her and pulled it off,” said Mayfield.

There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Palin is a fantastic memorizer. But there has been some concern that over time, her memorization may become tainted.

“It turns out that her infamous statement, ‘I can see Russia from my house,’ was actually something told to her by a homeless man who was making fun of her,” said Donna Yatz, a political psychoanalyst who examined Palin.

“It turns out that the stress of the campaign trail corrupted her internal memory and made her think that she could actually see Russia from her house. This is obviously false,” Yatz said.

Yatz went on to reassure the American public saying, “But be not afraid, the statement wasn’t a vague, trivial, meaningless, pathetic attempt at showing any sort of political competence from Palin, she’s just stupid.”