Creative Writing Student’s Story Contains Happy Ending

Story by Egon Sinclair 

| Published Oct 28, 2008

Carl Boulder defied years upon years of college literary tradition Friday when he handed in a story for his fiction writing class that contained a happy ending.

His teacher and classmates were aghast at the 10-page tale Boulder’s story weaved, in which a boy and girl meet, date and eventually get married.

“I’m not sure what this is, but it certainly isn’t literature,” said Boulder’s irate professor, John Tieson. “Throughout this 2,700-word atrocity, there isn’t the slightest hint of violence, traumatic sexual molestation or contemplative suicide.

“And nobody dies at the end!”
 
After drawing several murmurs and awkward looks from other students, Boulder’s suspicious behavior landed him several visits with a trained psychologist.

“In this violent world of ours, we cannot afford to overlook the warning signs of volatile mental illness,” said Deidra Ducheck, Boulder’s new therapist. “I’m afraid Boulder must be kept under observation until the cause of his abnormal behavior presents itself.”

Boulder, a mathematics major who only took the class as a “fun” way to satisfy his English requirement, was unavailable for comment, as the recent attention garnered by his work spiraled him into a deep depression.

He’s currently working on a second story, in which a heroin-addled prostitute attempts to find redemption by volunteering at a local church, only to be seduced and murdered by a serial killer posing as a pastor.