Confused Dad Takes Kids To ‘Wild Things’ Starring Denise Richards And Neve Campbell

Story by Rick Ryan 

| Published Nov 3, 2009

Tony Belmont’s kids couldn’t wait to see the new hit children’s movie “Where the Wild Things Are.” When the father of two saw that the local Dollar Theater was hosting a special matinee showing, he was quick to buy tickets and load his young son and daughter into the car. What he failed to realize was the tickets were for the late ‘90s hit “Wild Things.” Instead of being treated to a whimsical romp with fun-loving monsters, the children were taken on a sapphic rollercoaster ride of revenge and betrayal.

“Halfway through, I was like, 'Damn, this is the sexiest kid’s movie since “Blank Check,"' Belmont said. “Looking back on the whole situation, I probably should have taken my time and done a little research.”

Peter Shaw, owner of the Dollar Theater, has been showing older films during afternoon hours with famous girl-on-girl make-out scenes for the last three years now. Previous showings include "Bound", "Gia" and "Personal Best." But this is the first time there has been any confusion on what film was actually being screened.

“We are very open and upfront about what kinds of films are playing here,” Shaw said. “Our Web site clearly says these screenings are for teenage males, the unemployed and anyone who would otherwise feel guilty watching real porn.”

Belmont doesn’t blame the Dollar Theater, and he does take full responsibility for the mix-up. There are, however, major differences between the two films that make the confusion hard to understand. “Where the Wild Things Are” is the tale of a frustrated boy who becomes king to a group of playful monsters and is based on a popular children’s book. “Wild Things” is comprised of Denise Richards and Neve Campbell sort of acting when they aren’t making out in a pool and is based on the fantasies of any guy who was over the age of 15 in 1998. Belmont would rather focus on the two films’ similarities.

“Well, you know, they both have 'Wild Things' in the title,” he said.

All in all, Belmont deemed the afternoon a success. It kept his kids occupied, and he didn’t have to do any actual parenting. Surprisingly both of his children enjoyed the film — even though it wasn’t exactly what they were expecting.

“Kimmy, my youngest, said she liked the pretty clothes the girls wore. She also said she liked the monster but was probably just referring to Kevin Bacon,” Belmont said. “My son Thomas left the theater with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. He’s 5.”

Belmont hasn’t discussed the mix-up with his wife yet, but he has an ace in the hole if she gets too upset with him.

“During the famous pool scene, Kimmy leaned over and said ‘I’ve seen mommy do that with the Mexican lady that cleans our house on Tuesdays,'" he said. “So if anyone is going to be answering questions, it’ll be my wife.”