Bomb Threats Sent In Advance For Next Controversial Speaker

Story by Casey Welsch 

| Published Nov 11, 2008

“I DON’T CARE WHO THIS GUY/CHICK IS OR WHERE HE/IT IS FROM OR WHAT HE/IT IS HERE TO TALK ABOUT! YOU WILL BURN IN HELLFIRE FOREVER FOR EVEN CONSIDERING BRINGING HIM/IT TO CAMPUS! IF HE/IT EVEN SO MUCH AS SETS FOOT ON UNL CAMPUS, THE BLOOD OF HUNDREDS WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS! WE DO NOT SUBMIT TO TERRORISTS! GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

This copy comes from one of the hundreds of letters that have been sent to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln administration offices in response to the future announcement of any unnamed controversial speaker.

After the William Ayers incident, several Nebraska citizens have apparently lost faith in the University to invite speakers that identify with their ideals.

“Those fuckin’ peckerheads up there at the College don’t know a damn thing about what I think,” said Kane Picard, a citizen of Albine, Nebraska.

“If they’re going to bring some sort of fuckin’ smarty pants speaker into my state then it better be someone who believes like me, like Billy Graham or some shit. If they don’t, I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘em. Stupid fag pricks.”

Picard is not one of the people who have been sending preemptive letters to the University, he can’t write, but there have been a few willing to talk about why they felt it was neccessary to write such threats, as long as they were kept annonymous.

“All the people who run the University are obviously complete idiots,” Citizen A said.

“When they brought Ayers in to speak, it was clearly a political move to further flaunt their liberal elitism over we the people. They should have seen it coming. The people of Nebraska do not want a speaker coming to tell us how to be terrorists.”

Citizen A went on further to say that the reason they wrote the letter early was “just so they know the kind of people they’re dealing with.”

A second Nebraska citizen had this to say.

“Don’t trust the University!” said Citizen B. “The entire establishment was set up to brainwash young people and prepare them for service to the alien overlords who really run the planet."

"The Ogramth people hyjacked the governments about 40 years ago and now they use our educational systems to condition a new generation for unconditional obedience to their every whim! We must stop them! We have to bomb the schools! Don’t let another alien in disguise visit the campus!”

As it is apparent to see, most of the citizens sending letters have perfectly logical reasons to be doing so, and they are merely exercising their right to free speech.

UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman had one comment to make about this matter.

“I live in a state of idiocy,” Perlman said.