Bo Pelini Guest Column: I Can't Wait To Parlay This Move To The Big Ten Into A Job At Ohio State
| Published Sep 14, 2010
Don’t get me wrong, I bleed red — scarlet to be exact — and absolutely love being treated as a deity throughout the entire state of Nebraska, but it’ll get old eventually.
The Nebraska media is great. The entire Journal Star staff panders to my every desire and strays away from any question that could possibly put me on the spot.
Hell, on top of that I have my own clothing line, and am soon planning on releasing my very own fragrance called “Bo Nose.”
Why leave all this? Well, let me tell ya. I used to roll with the Youngstown Head Smashers back in the day — which is how I was discovered and recruited by THE Ohio State University — and I made a pledge with a bunch of my fellow Head Smashers that one of us would be the head coach at Ohio State before we turned 50.
Fortunately for me, I’m 42. This gives me eight solid years to prepare myself for the most prestigious college-coaching job in all of the Midwest.
My plans are pretty simple. I signed an extension with Nebraska that runs through 2014, a carefully chosen year as it is the year that Jim Tressel is slated to retire and move into a cushy job as athletic director, just in time for me to take over my dream job.
I immediately booked my own hour-long time slot on ESPN as soon as my boy LeBron James had his decision nationally televised, and it’s already got a fancy title and everything. It’s called “F*ck it, I’m goin’ home.” Skip Bayless told me it will have double the viewership of LeBron’s show, and Google Maps has already agreed to broadcast the entire state of Nebraska pulling the knives out of their backs. Feelin’ good about it.
Can’t wait for 2014.
-Bo Pelini



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