Because Screw You, That's Why | By Bo Pelini
Story by Mitch McCann 
| Published Oct 25, 2011

Some people may tell you I’m a hothead. Ain’t true. I yell, sure. Get over it. That doesn’t mean everything I do doesn’t have some reason. As head coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers, you gain lots of unwanted attention. Various scumbags floatin’ around, pecking at every little detail. And you know what I’ve realized? I don’t owe none of you nothing. You understand what I’m sayin’?

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Above: you don't mess around with Bo | Photo illustration by Courtesy Photo.
You schlubs remember Callahan? Want that guy back? Didn’t think so. So shut your yaps and let me do what I do best: coach this team to a semi-successful season, alright? Is that okay with you media-types - you filthy press junkies hungry for every little scoop? You’re the ones knocking down my door, asking me questions. Who needs you? I’m Bo friggin’ Pelini. I hire who I want, when I want. And I play who I want whenever I damn well please. Because the expensive name plate on my overpriced desk says what, again? Bo friggin’ Pelini, that’s right.

If I wanted you to know everything about my Huskers, you’d know it. If I wanted Burkhead stealing all of Taylor’s glory, you best believe Number 22 would be first team All-American. Taylor’s my guy, and won’t nobody ever tell me different. If I wanted someone who knew our system better than Tim Beck, don’t you think I’d would’ve hired them?

I spend 24 hours a day exercising my authority as head coach of one of the finest traditions in college football. Wisconsin, shmishshmonsin. Capiche? We look forward, or rather, I look forward. Straight ahead to my bright and shining future in the coziest job in college football. Because I hold the reins here. Press. Fans. Boosters. Coaches. I don’t have to answer to any of you. Why? Because screw you, that’s why.

Pelini out.

Comments

1
Posted Nov 3rd, 2011 at 5:34 pm
I Love It!!!!
--Somebodys Mom
2
Posted Nov 3rd, 2011 at 6:51 pm
You're not even funny. Take your circus act somewhere else.
--Hinske
3
Posted Nov 3rd, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Who let this guy in as a writer?
--Really?
4
Posted Nov 6th, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Who names their kid "really?"
--Vagina Anus Fuck
5
Posted Nov 19th, 2011 at 12:43 pm
We love him when he wins but hate him when loses...he's our coach other way...get behind him!
--come on
6
Posted Nov 21st, 2011 at 5:18 pm
All you youngsters don't remember how the fans wanted Osborne's head, so much so that he thought he would take the Colorado job. Like it or not our program has to be built every year, we don't have 4 and 5 stars kicking down our door. So give it time and Im sure it will get better. o
--ME
7
Posted Nov 29th, 2011 at 9:21 am
I just want it stated that Pelini's recruits are finally starting and its looking worse than when he was playing with other players recruits
--Somebodys Son
8
Posted Dec 23rd, 2011 at 10:20 am
Knwoldege wants to be free, just like these articles!
--Henny

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