Art Major Sketching Own Penis Reports 'It's Harder Than It Looks'

Story by Alex Wunrow 

| Published Apr 13, 2010

Paul Foster has always been a man of enormous talent. Throughout a childhood filled with seemingly endless nights of vigorously perfecting his talent in a wide array of tender and supple art forms, Foster, a sophomore art major at UNL, was recently sketching his own penis for a semi-self portrait for his drawing 202 class; and despite relatively large success, Foster reported that it’s “harder than it looks.”

When asked why one would suspect things weren’t quite as tough as they seemed, Foster replied with a sternly worded answer: “It’s a byproduct of my new stroking style. Many over-rushed, flaccid jabs with the arm.”

The strokes are revolutionary in the field of sketching genitalia. Foster, normally beginning by diligently holding the brush in his right hand, will occasionally deter stroking duties to the left hand, if the moment so calls for it.

“I’ve seen him do it before,” said Foster's roommate, Edward Hoiland. “Its kind of nuts…well not nuts…more decadent. It is truly something to behold.”

Foster described the process as a "rather rehearsed endeavor" for the first 15 minutes or so, but after that it really becomes anything goes — a testament to Foster’s balls-to-the-wall approach to art.

“People try and hold me to all these ‘moral standards’ when it comes to art,” said Foster. “But in the end, isn’t it between me, my penis and everyone I’m going to share this with on Facebook as to how I stroke my brush?”