Apple Nearly Bankrupt After Release Of MacBook ProBono

Story by Emily Wilson 

| Published Apr 27, 2010

On Sunday, Apple announced it is on the verge of bankruptcy due in large part to the overwhelming success of their new product, the MacBook ProBono. The ProBono was launched in March in an effort to combat a Microsoft advertising campaign painting Apple products as "too extravagant" for the average consumer.

Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, was outraged by the media attack. “Gates can suck a fat one. Apple is completely in touch with the everyday American,” screamed Jobs from his iThrone during the 2010 MacWorld conference in January. “Have you heard about the new iPhone? For only $300 you can store over 10,000 songs, access the internet while you’re taking a dump and there’s a new app you can download where you make eyeball pizzas for zombies. How can you afford not to buy one?”

Just weeks after Jobs’ outburst, Apple announced plans to introduce a "less tricked-out version" of the MacBook Pro, aimed to appeal to a wider demographic. However, Jobs shocked consumers, horrified Apple stockholders and reduced many executives to tears when he slashed the suggested price from $700 to free at the last minute. Jobs proposed that consumers would go out to the Apple stores for the “Pro Bono Promo” and end up picking up other products while they were there. “Like going to the supermarket with a coupon for yogurt and picking up some orange juice on a whim,” Jobs said.

Apple employees, like spokesperson Alison Wiles, are skeptical about Jobs' marketing strategy. “We’re not entirely sure Mr. Jobs understands how flawed that analogy is seeing as he has his oranges flown in daily from Guatemala and is allowed to walk into any Apple store and take anything he wants. But better to loose millions of dollars in sales that to make Steve angry. The guy who told him the new Ipod nano didn’t need video took a voice-activated orange juicer to the face,” Wiles said.

While Apple is on the cusp of economic devastation, some experts think there’s still hope for the company’s revival. “You have to understand that this is the company that is selling America the iPad,” said Apple Senior Market Analyst Alex Dworak. “All Apple needs to do is cut out this Pro Bono business and come up with something outrageously impractical and expensive. If Apple knows anything, it’s how to sell Americans something they don’t need.”