An Open Letter To The NU Board Of Regents From The DN Editorial Staff

Story by Carson Vaughan 

| Published Dec 1, 2009

Dear NU Board of Regents,

In celebration of your repulsively narrow decision to kill the recent stem cell resolution, all of us on the editorial board at the Daily Nebraskan cordially invite you to join us for a dinner banquet of flattering proportions.

We’ve said it before* and we will say it again, “We commend the Regents for their narrow decision to strike down the resolution and uphold scientific research.” Although your votes were split 4-4 down the middle, the grossly unsettling nature of your decision and the anesthetized procedure by which you reached it send a clear message to your constituents and students at Nebraska. And in the process, your courageous indecision garnered much-welcomed press from major media across the globe, reinforcing Nebraska as a major player in the battle for social and scientific regression.

In a flyover state that has been overlooked, ignored and generalized for decades, the leadership shown by the eight of you in the stem cell debate is nothing short of transcendent. As regent Tim Clare told the Lincoln Journal Star, “We want what's best for the University of Nebraska.” And to back that claim, your board submitted a tie vote. The DN editorial staff has no doubt that potential students and researchers will view this 4-4 vote as a reflection of bold academic freedom—what’s best for the University.

Please let it be known that we are always willing to support you in times like this. We know better than just about anyone that not taking a stand** can be an excruciating task. In fact, just two weeks ago we completely avoided taking a stance on the 475-RIDE issue. Instead of using our staff editorial, a collective voice of student journalists, to help direct the student body, we simply encouraged them to go the ASUN town hall meeting!

We digress, but have no doubt that the DN knows and empathizes with your recent situation. We would never take a stand against the eight of you without moderating our opinion with a statement such as the following: “We are grateful for your (insert PR-driven action here)***, but we (insert opinion here).”

Again, we praise you for aborting the stem cell resolution in a fashion that still allows its negative effects to damage our university. Please allow us to personally shower you with accolades at our dinner banquet. You may rest assured that if we do make any criticisms at the banquet, we will do so in the most meek and feeble manner possible. You have our word that we will pad all our true opinions with qualifiers and supportive verbs like “commend,” “laud,” and “praise” directed at you.

Congratulations on your sound defeat! We look forward to pampering you at the banquet. And by all means, please let us know if there is anything the DN can do to help you.


Warmest Wishes,
The Daily Nebraskan Editorial Staff


*DN STAFF ED: Regents’ Stem cell vote upholds NU values (Sunday, Nov. 22, 2009)

** Save for you, Regent McClurg!

***DN STAFF ED: “While Johanns is largely against the bill…we still commend Johanns for holding a public forum for the controversial issue.” (Sunday, Nov. 15, 2009)