Ailing Economy Causes Unprecedented Woes For Rich Kids Pretending To Be Poor

Story by Egon Sinclair 

| Published Nov 25, 2008

With the United States still in the throes of a substantial credit crisis and with several well-established banks defaulting on their debts, most Americans are feeling their pennies pinched.

But all the ridiculous sob stories of lower class families facing prolonged unemployment and foreclosed homes have robbed an even more destitute demographic of its moment in the spotlight: Rich kids who pretend to teeter on the brink of poverty because their frail egos need some sort of struggle, real or imagined, to give a glimmer of meaning to their privileged existences.

“I’m usually broke, but the past few months have been especially harrowing,” said Marcus Siebann, a local musician and political science major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. “I’m definitely watching my spending.”

Siebann then frantically fished around in his the cup holder of his 2009 Acura TSX  (which he got “super cheap because the transmission was all messed up” and his cousin, a mechanic, was able to fix it for free), hoping to “scrape together enough to get a double cheeseburger” because he didn’t have the money for anything else.

Siebann made no mention of the $729.95 Panasonic Lumix G1 digital camera dangling around his neck as he casually flicked his 30 GB iPod’s spinwheel to find some “driving music.”

“Everybody’s feeling the effects of this economic regression,” Siebann said. “Now that the Frank Mac and Sally May have gone belly up, nobody’s doing very well economically.”