55 Year "United Nations" Experiment Comes To An End

Story by Jacob Fricke 

| Published Oct 5, 2010

Fifty five years after it begun, funding for an international experiment known as the “United Nations” has ceased.

During a press conference Monday, the UN’s financial backers, who have yet to be publicly identified other than by their group name “The Organization”, cited a distinct lack of progress as reason for the sudden abandonment of the project.

The man in the dark suit who delivered the message declined to give his name, and was quickly whisked away in a black limousine.

Bischoff zu St Alban, spokesperson for the Swiss bank that previously held the funds for the project, was quick to rationalize The Organization’s decision.

“For almost 40 years, I have been handling the finances of the United Nations. Not once in my four decades has it been financially solvent, or has it ever produced a tangible result,” Alban said.

Following the conclusion of World War II, the UN was formed in hopes of preventing a devastating world conflict from ever happening again.

“However,” Alban said, “The UN has done little in that time but piss away billions of dollars without reason or cause. Money is demanded, wasted,and the process begins anew. Good riddance.”

Now-former Secretary General of the UN Ban Ki-moon quickly responded to the news. Speaking from his Taiwan vacation home, heissued a strong condemnation of The Organization.

“We were so close to solving the crisis in North Korea, Iran, Darfur, the drug war in Mexico, dictators in Kenya, Libya, Egypt and totalitarianism around the globe,” Ban Ki-moon said. “All we needed were a few dozen more years and a few billion more dollars. What’s the harm?”

The Organization, otherwise known for their highly successful “League of Nations” program, has declined to discuss future plans.