‘2 Corinthians 2 Furious’ Probably Local Teen’s Favorite Book Of Teen Bible

Story by Ben Plowman 

| Published Dec 15, 2009

When it comes to the Bible, local 15-year-old Mathew Heger hates to pick favorites. However, if he had to list out his favorite books from his Teen Study Bible, Heger would put "2 Corinthians 2 Furious" in his top three for sure.

"It's such a great book," explained Heger. "Paul shows up in Corinth in this pretty slow horse-drawn carriage, and all the priests in town are all doggin' on him about how there's no way God would choose an apostle who was that slow.

"So he races Tej Parker, a Christian priest and ex-street racer, and earns Parker's respect. If Paul could make a crummy old carriage like his move as fast as it did, Parker reason he must have God on his side.

"A lot of people prefer 'The First Corinthians and the Furious,' but even without Vin Diesel's character, I think the sequel had races that were way more awesome," Heger added.

Heger was given the Teen Study Bible as a birthday gift from his "super religious" aunt and uncle, Dawn and Allen Mosely, though he admitted that some of the books in the Old Testament turned him off at first.

"I opened the thing up, and the first thing I see is the book of 'Sega Genesis.' I'm glad God made Sonic the Hedgehog on the sixth day and all, but I wasn't sure how that was relevant to my life." Heger said he almost gave up on the Bible entirely, but a few months later, on a whim, he opened it to 'Deuteronomy, Where's My Car?' and couldn't put it down.

"The whole book is hilarious. This dude named Moses wakes up in the desert and can't find his car anywhere, so he and a bunch of his friends just walk around the desert looking for it. Oh, yeah, then God feeds him these little clues about how to be a better person the whole time, but Moses still gets into tons of trouble," said Heger.

The Teen Study Bible even has books that Heger's little brother and sister can appreciate. Heger says his sister, Katie, is pretty much in love with 'The Jonah's Brothers," which tells the story of three musically gifted brothers who are swallowed by a whale and then go on a sweet tour all through Nineveh to please God.

Heger's little brother, Darrell, however, is quite fond of about 'Philémon: The First Movie,' in which this guy runs around with his slave, Onesimus, training him up and making him do battle against the morality of Paul.

Despite the many great books in the teen Bible, there are still a few books that Heger simply isn't a huge fan of.

"I really wanted to get into 'Numb3rs' because I had heard good things, but it's too boring," Heger said. "OK, so Balaam is really good at prophecy and uses his ability to talk to God and solve all sorts of crime? Big whoop. Where is the action?"

For reasons nobody knows, Heger's dad is into both "Numb3rs" and "2 Thessalonians, A Girl, And A Pizza Place," which is "even worse than 'Friends.'"

Though he couldn't choose a favorite book, Heger knew instantly his least-favorite book of the Teen Study Bible: "The Matrix Revelations."

In the book, Neo, a Christ-like figure, sacrifices himself to save the world and end suffering on earth. In addition to being "super preachy," Heger claims the ending doesn't even make sense.

"If Neo dies to save the world, why are we stuck here with the same suffering as before?" Heger asked. "If he doesn't die, why on earth did we just watch him go through that whole ordeal? The whole thing is bullcrap."