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Opinion View all

You Should All Be Ashamed of Yourselves | by Olatunkboh Balewa, Nigerian Prince

Growing up in Nigeria, I heard many stories about the kindness, generosity and good will of the American people. You have all disappointed…

This Cat Suit is Not Exactly What I Was Expecting | by Mildred Romero, Cat Lady

This Cat Suit is Not Exactly What I Was Expecting | by Mildred Romero, Cat Lady

Hello, world. It’s been a while! I just wanted everyone to know that my cats and I, particularly that minx Spartacus, have been…

National View all

Yesterday was Career Day in Miss Hoffman’s Kindergarten class, and if this year’s class is anything to go by, there’ll be a lot of depressed people at the…

In what proved to be a miraculous day for local Arby’s employees, former employee Jesse Clemons returned from college and blessed the minimum wage job with his knowledge.…

  Following a series of contentious debates, the House of Representatives appeared to reach a compromise on immigration Friday. Speaker of the House John Boehner, visibly pleased with…

The AA baseball team formerly known as the Birmingham Black People, recently forced to change their mascot due to controversy, have now adopted the team name “The Second…

World View all

US Excited About Being 999,999th Visitor to Chinese Website

US Excited About Being 999,999th Visitor to Chinese Website

In the midst of cyber-espionage attacks from China, the US government keeps stumbling upon fantastic prizes across the internet. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel issued a public statement…

Diner Terrorized by Mumford and Sons Pandora Station

The restaurant was packed on what seemed to be a normal night at Lou’s Diner. Families celebrated birthdays and anniversaries. Laughter and revelry could be heard throughout the…

Guantanamo Opens Doors for Spring Breakers

Just in time for the holiday season, Guantanamo Bay has declared that its highly secured doors will open for this year’s wave of spring breakers. Crowds of all…

North Korea Gifts Giant Wooden Horse to South Korea

In an unprecedented act of kindness and generosity, the North Korean government has given a massive, beautifully-crafted wooden horse to South Korea. “We are very excited to receive…

Local View all

Local Drama Queen Over It

According to recent reports, Jenny Fishburn, a sophomore general studies major and self-described princess, is as…

Student Mentioned Numerous Times on UNL Uglies

Senior English Major’s Mom Already Has Bedroom Ready

World View all

US Excited About Being 999,999th Visitor to Chinese Website

US Excited About Being 999,999th Visitor to Chinese Website

In the midst of cyber-espionage attacks from China, the US government keeps stumbling upon fantastic prizes…

Diner Terrorized by Mumford and Sons Pandora Station

Guantanamo Opens Doors for Spring Breakers

Sports View all

Rutgers to Field Collegiate Dodgeball Team

 In a strange turn of events, the interim Athletic Director at Rutgers, Carl Kirschner, announced plans…

Young Nebrasketball Fan with Cancer Shit Out of Luck

Coach McDermott Gets Verbal Commitment from 4-Year-Old Son

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